there will be nothing new here, so get at us up there.
The indie-fest being less than two months away, Coachella is on our (and everyone else’s) minds. It’s about that point when we start Facebook stalking ourselves back to last year (and the year before, and the year before) in order to get even more excited for what this year is a two-weekend extravaganza of literally some of the best times we have ever had. Sorry, cliché of us, we know. If you don’t have a ticket yet, we would keep our fingers toes and arms crossed that by some miracle they let UCLA greeks volunteer selling water and shit like they did last year (although rumor has it this is like a 0% chance, not that we blame them…), or that your dad is down to shell out $800 for a ticket.
As Spring quarter approaches (thank god, we hate you winter), each frat and every frat rat are getting ready for the best thing frats ever created: the weekender. One or two nights of absolute obliteration usually somewhere along the lines of Palm Springs in a shitty hotel (unless it’s with SAE, pretentious assholes), it’s literally an accomplishment if you make it out breathing and not pregnant.
This might sound like the title of that horrible show on TLC (seriously, that lady is so fucking annoying) but this is actually very important information unless you want to end up looking like you belong at SMU…or UCSD.
We know we have a food section and technically BruCaf should be there, but it’s important enough to deserve it’s own section. If you aren’t already at UCLA, Bruin Café is going to be your favorite place here. Particularly during the hours of 12-2 am. Don’t get us wrong, BruCaf is great during the day for a pastry and tea or coffee on your way to class, or a place to study and eat simultaneously (although this can be dangerous… be careful or else you’ll be 4 muffins deep in like an hour). But the best part about this hill favorite is when it turns into “Club B-Caf” (reference Spring Sing 2011 video) at night. We don’t know if the workers are pissed they are missing a night out or if they just like to cater to the drunk munchies crowd that stumbles in late night, but BruCaf gets a little bit confused at night and thinks it’s fucking Supperclub. Although you cant get service without shoes (tried more times than you might think), you can get service in just about anything else, including stripper heels, athlete sweatshirts over dresses, and Ke$ha raid costumes.
In honor of the wonderful (and by that we mean god awful) holiday of Valentine’s Day, we’re gonna talk about a college concept that has turned the term “sweethearts” into something way cooler than those candies that taste like chalk: frat sweethearts. Frat sweethearts can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different frats and girls, but it’s usually some version of a girl who is “one of the guys,” a girl who has a serious boyfriend in the house (and people can actually stand to be around them), or the resident slut. We’re pretty sure each house has some kind of sweetheart (even Beta has that weird Beta rose queen song bullshit), but there’s pretty much only two that matter:
So last week we heard the worst news like, ever- ASVT has been cancelled for this spring. As we mourn the lost of our favorite shitshow weekend, we want to remember and honor all of ASVT’s vodka-filled greatness.
So, in honor of this increasingly annoying trend overwhelming our news feeds and our very own UCLA SAE jumping in with “Shit Sorority Girls Say…To Frat Guys,” we figured we should jump on this bandwagon. Kinda. We’re not really into becoming youtube stars (or trying to be) so here is our list of “Shit UCLA Girls Say.” Funny cause it’s true.
As it seems like this week was the start of the overwhelming stress of figuring out next year’s living situation (a bit early, isn’t it?…), we’re gonna do our best to help you out. Keep in mind, living in a great building won’t make up for living with people that don’t understand how to take out the garbage, lay in bed all day with their boyfriend ordering Ital, or barf in their bed. Choose your roommates wisely.
First of all, thank GOD for Italian Express. We’re actually pretty sure we would have died of late-night starvation without this delivery service bringing us greasy goodness at all hours. Whether it’s to dorms, frats, sororities, or a random corner in Westwood, “Ital” is there to save us from alcohol or weed induced hunger. And create a lot of morning-time regret. Particularly a favorite with sorority girls, it’s not unusual for whoever answers the Ital phone to recognize the name and number, or know where we are calling from/ want our food delivered.